Holy smokes, this week I learned SO MUCH about dating and love and relationships. I am going to be completely honest, I absolutely hate dating. But, I've learned a lot that I feel will help me in future relationships and future dates. I want to talk about three things this week. The first thing I want to talk about is called The Relationship Attachment Model also known as RAM. this model is AWESOME and made so much sense to me as I learned about it. Here is a picture of it: RAM works in 5 levels. Basically what I got from the RAM model is this, we should know someone more than we trust them, we should trust them more than we rely on them we should rely on them before we can commit and then we should appropriate touch when we commit. We discussed how touch releases hormones that can make you feel things that aren’t true. Such as being more committed than you really are and if touch gets bumped up higher than the other four levels it can knock things out of balance. Touch really does attach us to people and can sometimes give us a feeling of “I feel like” but, I feel likes aren’t always true.
The other thing I wanted to talk about is the 3 P's. In order for something to be considered a date and not just "hanging out" It's important to have the 3 p's. So what are the 3 P's??!! Let me tell you! Prepared, paid for and paired off. :) This makes total sense right?! Well it gets even better, THEN my teacher asked us, so what are the responsibilities of the men according to the proclamation to the world. We all responded that the responsibilities of the men are to provide, preside and protect. So how do these the responsibilities of the men and the 3 P's of dating relate??? Provide can relate to paid off. When he pays for a date he is practicing his responsibility to one day provide. -Paired off can relate to protecting. Does he do things to take care of you. When he walks you home, and picks you up does he makes sure you are safe. If you're walking close to the road does he make sure he's the one closest to the road? Does he respect you? Being paired off is a great way to show he can protect you and if he will protect you in the future. -Planned can relate to presiding. They need to show innovative too. It’s so important to find a man who will preside. Make sure he will plan dates and takes innovative. If he doesn’t the likely hood of him presiding in the future is not a lot. SO having said all that what is the role of women? We don't get off the hook that easy!! haha. We know women's role in The Family a Proclamation to the world is to nurture. Some things we talked about are, we want to be the man’s safe haven and be his support because they need that too. Nurture the best behavior. If a guy says hey want hang out blah blah you can say, "no, but, I’d love to go on a date if that’s what you are asking?" It is also important to validate them and let them know you are grateful they asked. Even if you aren’t interested in them you can build them up. If they did take you on a date, THANK THEM. I feel strongly you should never take a guy for granted or just assume he ought to take you out and spend money on you. It is a sweet gesture to be taken on a date and gratitude is huge. How women act in dating relationships is also a huge sign of the kind of wives and mothers they are going to be. OKAY! :) lastly I wanted to talk about the 3 T's. 1. Togetherness: Shared activities aka dating. The wider of activities we share and do together the more we get to know each other. Togetherness ties into talk because then we are able to talk! 2. Talk: (Mutual self-disclosure) Giving information about yourself and receiving information from them. It takes TWO in a relationship. 3. Time: Spending time with someone helps you soooooo much to know who they are and how they act in different situations! The 3 T's I know can help us have successful relationships! :) Guys, can we take a minute? This stuff is so awesome. It has SERIOUSLY helped me know how to date in the future, what to expect and how I need to be and how I need to be treating the guys I go on dates with. This is awesome information that can help so much. Recently, I've had no trust in guys or in dating. It's the last thing on my mind. But, this helped me so much to know if I do my best and follow these things, it'll be a better experience for me. Not to mention, following the spirit and trusting God is HUGE. It is important we get married and progress in that area so we all need to have faith and date date date. I know eventually the right one will come along for all of us! As Elder Holland has said, "Trust God and believe in good things to come." xox, Sarah :)
2 Comments
Annah
2/9/2017 11:56:41 pm
Love it! And so true! The ram model makes so much sense to me. We should build on trust and commitment before moving to far into touch. That's how lasting relationships are formed. :)
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Sarah
2/15/2017 10:51:44 am
Thanks Annah banana! I love you!
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AuthorI'm Sarah Knight. I'm a student at Brigham Young University-Idaho and am going to be using this blog for my family relations class. I will update it weekly and share the things we've learned in class and any insights I have gained! :) ArchivesCategories https://rachaeladela.wordpress.com/Check out my classmates!
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